Familiar Touch
Sara Friedland’s film Familiar Touch begins with Ruth, an octogenarian woman, with her back to the camera, spending too long searching through a small wardrobe, finally settling on a simple outfit. She carefully prepares a sandwich for her grown son, an architect, who eyes her cautiously. Conversation is short, their interactions are ambiguous, and the sandwich is left uneaten. We quickly recognize that Ruth is in the early stages of dementia. Most of the film is set in Villa Gardens an actual retirement community in Pasadena. The 80-year-old veteran stage actor Kathleen Chalfant, as Ruth, blends with the facility’s geriatric residents, with the exception of the Alzheimer’s patients who were unable to sign releases. Others zip around in mobile carts, read to one another to exercise cognitive skills, attend “dating” nights, or celebrate birthdays in party hats. The focus is squarely on Chalfant’s sensitive performance while the residents add authenticity and a sense of compassion to the episodic narrative.
In her previous work, Friedland experimented with films about movement and space. Here, she focuses on Ruth’s physicality, a caress, a distant gaze, shifting emotions, or even a long-lost sense of sensuous amour as she struggles to control and navigate a world that is slipping away. Her son, Steve (a quiet performance by H. Jon Benjamin), stoically faces his mother’s changing personality. The film’s title is a reminder of the gentle contact that offers solace beyond words. There is no high drama, just daily interactions. As a former chef, food preparation becomes one means of control for Ruth. Her caregiver, Vanessa, played with sympathetic precision by Carolyn Michelle Smith, patiently waits as Ruth commandeers the kitchen to prepare a breakfast, suddenly believing herself to be part of the staff. In a lovely moment, she stares from a window onto the grounds as Vanessa shares a cigarette with a fellow aid, Steve (Andy McQueen). We can only wonder what memories or distant emotions are passing through.
While Ruth’s is the focus, it is clear in passing that the caregivers, almost all people of color, would be unable to afford a place like this for their own families. In her post-screening Q&A, Friedland acknowledged that less than 3% of the population can afford the type of treatment shown in the film, adding that recent cuts to Medicare further devastate the quality of care elders receive in this country.
Films like The Father, with Anthony Hopkins, the early onset memory tale of Still Alice with Julianne Moore, or the devastating loss of a wife in Michael Haneke’s Amour expand their stories to emphasize the tragic impact of Alzheimer’s on families. In Familiar Touch, the narrative centers on adjustment and acceptance.
Having recently visited a friend with early-onset memory at a similar facility a few weeks ago made the story feel personal. Anyone with friends or family with similar issues will be touched by the grace and accuracy of Friedland’s film. In addition to awards for Best Debut, Best Director, and Best Actress at the Venice Film Festival, the film received the juried John Schlesinger Award for Best Narrative Film at the Provincetown Festival.